Rezensionen zu: DarkRoom 300x300x200cm

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Rezension: John, looking at the brgide with something considerably less than envy as well, his green eyes checking each slat, each rail, with the precision and cautiousness of a bomb engineer no room for error, or you’re dead.“You go first,” Ty volunteered Nancy with a majestic sweep of his hand. She squinted at him as if to say, where’s the gentleman behind that idiotic face, and took the first step onto the cable. It took guts, but if anything that was what Nancy had. She refused to let anything get the best of her as long as people were looking.“Don’t you want one of us to go first?” asked John, and she shot him a look far beyond her normal annoyance. After a moment, though, she appeared to remind herself that this was John, not Ty, and that he meant well and was not mocking her. Her face softened a bit, and she sighed, her voice gentler but resolved.“I’m not afraid. And I don’t need you two holding my hand all the way across. I can do it on my own, and besides, I have the shuttleboard. The most chance of catching myself if the damn thing breaks.”“Just let her go,” I sighed, and she nodded to me, turning slowly back to the cable. We watched her, with hands on both rails, make her way slowly across. About midway she picked up the pace, not wanting to be there, and before I knew it she was nearing the end.“Me next,” said Ty, lurching onto the cable. It swayed at the sudden movement, and ahead of him Nev froze, turning her eyes on him sharply.“Sorry!”he exclaimed.“Idiot.”she turned her face back to us. “There’s something up with this brgide. It’s not very secure. But I made it across, you should be fine. Bad things tend to happen to me first, so ”“So hurry up, Ty,” I snapped, and he stopped in his tracks.“Len, don’t make me come back there and smack you around. ‘Cuz I will, and you know it.”“I’m shaking.” I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, and John put his hand on my shoulder brusquely.“Knock it off, both of you. I don’t like this, either.”Ty got about halfway across and stopped. “Hey.”We walked smack into him, shaking our heads and starting to scold him, but then he silenced us, hand outstretched. “You hear that?”I cocked my head an listened quietly, and then I heard it. That. . . terrible creaking, groaning, screaming of metal.“No.”I gasped.Can\'t write any more- please just edit this- i know it\'s an awkward piece, but i want some input on my writing style- i know i need improvement, so don\'t be too harsh, just edit my main mistakes?Thank you all for reading this!!! ~*museYeah- that\'s a point, Nick- people, i\'m not asking for you to rewrite my passage. that\'s crazy. Just tell me what i need to fix, if anything.