Rezensionen zu: Flange

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Autor: Gast
Rezension: by any chance, is there anonye out there who would be willing to edit chapter 1 of my story for me?i\'m looking for someone to read this and edit it, as wel as make suggestions on how i could improve it. maybe revise my wording, or add parts to it, or remove parts, if it\'s interesting, realistic, etc. i know this is far fetched, as not many people will have the patience or will to read such a long thing for a complete stranger, but if so, then much thanks to you.My house went up in smoke as I stood motionless, and watched. Blue flame danced teasingly, as though to mock me while I watched helplessly, my memories, my life, burn away before my very eyes.It was a bitter cold night, on the 24th of November. The nasty wind nipped fiercely at my skin. Hurriedly I parked my truck right outside of my tiny city apartment. It may be dingy and crammed but I promised myself every night, it was just until the insurance on my house went through. Unfortunately that was a very slow process, as though my home being burned to the ground was not enough, now I had to deal with the incompetence of the insurance company. It wasn’t just them that was causing me grief, three months had passed since the fire and the police weren’t any closer to finding the cause. ‘Accidental’ is the word they kept using when talking to me, but I didn’t believe it for a second. The look in their eyes told me that not even they believed what they were saying. Somebody was after me, this I knew. I could feel it, everywhere I went; as though they were tracing my every step. No I thought, that is just paranoid crazy talk, who would follow me? I ordered myself at once to stop thinking about this as I lay in bed waiting for sleep to take over.Abruptly I was awoken out of a nightmare. Seconds after my eyes fluttered open however, I couldn’t remember what it was about. A murder I think, or maybe not, whichever it may have been it wasn’t important now. Disoriented, I felt my way around for the lamp on my bedside table. Feeling the cool ceramic button under my fingers, I flicked on the switch. My eyes ached and stung with the sudden white light that blazed through my room, momentarily blinding me. Stumbling out of bed I headed towards the kitchen for a glass of ice water. Trying to reason with myself as to why I was awake at the ungodly hour of 4:00 am. Sitting down at the kitchen table I glanced outside, little white flakes of powder were peacefully falling from the sky, covering the barren streets. Five out of the seven streetlights flickered on and off, moments from burning out. Then, out of the corner of my eye I saw it. My breath caught in my throat. A pang of panic suddenly overcame me, followed by a cold sweat that surrounded every inch of my body. Trying to concentrate on what I saw I opened my eyes as far as they would stretch, hoping that it was just the moonless night that was playing tricks on me. There was my truck, parked across the street from where I had left it. Kicking back my chair, not even hesitating as it went crashing to the floor I grabbed my coat and ran out the door.I checked every inch of my truck, and nothing. There was no damage, nothing looked even remotely different, even my steering wheel lock was on. All the while I glanced frantically in every direction, in case the culprit was still near by. Fear gripping me, I turned back towards my apartment, pulling out my cell phone to dial 911. A female voice suddenly rang through my ears “911, what’s your emergency?” my words came out in an uncontrollable jumbled mess. “My truck, someone stole it. They moved it, took my keys and moved it but now my keys are back, they’re in my pocket and.. my truck is parked outside. Except my truck is on the wrong side of the street not.. Not where I parked it.” I suddenly heard myself and realized how ridiculous I sounded. “Sir, what you are saying is that somebody stole your truck, parked it across the street and put the keys back in your house?” I sighed gravely, “yes that is what I’m saying. I know it sounds crazy, but I know, I know for a fact that I parked my truck right outside my house. Then I look out and it has moved to the other side of the street. How else do you explain this!?” for a brief moment I heard nothing but silence from the other end of the line. “Sir, please calm down. Officer Christianson has been dispatched and will arrive at your house momentarily, he will then go from there. Now, I gather that you understand the severity of false allegations?” “are you claiming I am making this up, officer?” I bitterly spit out through my teeth. “It is something I must be sure of. Officer Christianson will be of further assistance to you from here” came the abrupt sound of an irritated voice, followed by the click of a dead phone line.I paced around my living room, which didn’t seem small until right now. Within moments I was at one end, and was forced to turn around to pace right back to the other. What was taking so long. Jumping at the loud banging from the front